My hair was straight, the color of dishwater. My mom gave me perm and perm, highlight and highlight. I too did not feel adequate as I was. I love how you described your journey to freedom!
Jen, you have written of an experience of so many of us - not necessarily the curly hair but the feelings of being too much or not enough to fit in - always feeling like we are in the outside. We are so fragile when we are young our hearts is tender to the words of others 😢. Even as a girl with straight hair I was not happy with mine either!
So thankful that we can grow to love ourselves more fully - even our unruly hair!
Oh, Jenni, I love this! As a fellow Italian, I feel your pain with the unstoppable curly hair! While all my friends (or girls in my class) had those cute flips, I wrestled with the unruly curls. I've just about burned my high school photo from freshman year. Between the hair and leftover pasta fat from grade school, I cringe at the pic. It's only been since the blow dryer that I've been able to obtain straighter hair. But now, my hair doesn't hold a curl, so I've added the curling iron and have even had my hair permed a couple of times (OH! The ease of non-hassle). Thanks for this trip down memory lane.
Ooh I love this Jen. So relatable, yet I really envy your gorgeous hair! Speaking as someone who always had extremely straight hair whatever I did with it. For a birthday treat each year my mum would spend hours tying my hair in rags so it would be curly/wavy for half a day before it dropped out or merely looked as though it needed a good brush! I remember later at senior school being fascinated in assembly by the perfectly smooth blonde pony tail of a girl in front, which always flicked back into place. How does it do that?
Then at uni, there was a girl who looked very like me, who had long dark curly hair. Every night before we went out I would be tonging my hair into curls and she would be there with the straighteners, trying to smooth hers down. We always want what we don't have. But for you, it symbolises so much more and you and your gorgeous family have such beautiful curls. And the photo of your lovely girl - so precious xx
And now I've been instantly transported to that time I got a perm in high school! Always longing to fit in, feeling like I was forever on the outside looking in. So resonate with your words! Love Rachel's book, and Sue's words are always such an encouragement to me.
Loved this. I was the Swedish girl with the straight hair who longed to have curls and endured those smelly perms several times. Or I slept in those pin curlers, so that I could have those beautiful curls I longed for! LOL. So funny how we all long for what we don't have. The longing to fit in I totally get. I was born with a cleft palate, cleft lip and deviated septum. Though much of it has been "fixed," my face will never quite be symmetrical. I have to position my face just right for photographs. I am so glad I did not grow up in the Instagram age. As always, thank you for the memories you shared!
Humbled and honored to read this. Your story is beautiful. Here's to all of us coming into our own. Speaking of hair, my friend Tasha just wrote a piece on (in)courage that swept me off my feet. It's called "Grief, Gratitude, and Gray Hair" and I'm thinking it'll resonate with you, too. Hope you enjoy it and find (some more) solidarity in this : )
Jenni, I am so glad you posted this. First of all it a beautifully written piece about self-acceptance. The history of hair written by a curly girl is one most of us curly girls can relate to because we went through so many of the same longings to have what we never could achieve when it came to hair styles. And though the experimentation with techniques meant to leave our hair smooth and sleek may have varied in our own attempts, that too is something I think every curly girl tries. Isn’t funny how when the hair dresser blows out the hair and the hair looks how we always wanted it to look we then feel less like who we really are?
But these lines, broke may heart, "struggling with the brown Kirby grips that pinched her scalp and just got lost in her hair when all she wanted to do was stop her curls sticking out.
To stop herself sticking out.” I do want to give that girl a hug.
My hair was straight, the color of dishwater. My mom gave me perm and perm, highlight and highlight. I too did not feel adequate as I was. I love how you described your journey to freedom!
Jen, you have written of an experience of so many of us - not necessarily the curly hair but the feelings of being too much or not enough to fit in - always feeling like we are in the outside. We are so fragile when we are young our hearts is tender to the words of others 😢. Even as a girl with straight hair I was not happy with mine either!
So thankful that we can grow to love ourselves more fully - even our unruly hair!
Oh, Jenni, I love this! As a fellow Italian, I feel your pain with the unstoppable curly hair! While all my friends (or girls in my class) had those cute flips, I wrestled with the unruly curls. I've just about burned my high school photo from freshman year. Between the hair and leftover pasta fat from grade school, I cringe at the pic. It's only been since the blow dryer that I've been able to obtain straighter hair. But now, my hair doesn't hold a curl, so I've added the curling iron and have even had my hair permed a couple of times (OH! The ease of non-hassle). Thanks for this trip down memory lane.
And, no, you can't see my freshman photo :)
Ooh I love this Jen. So relatable, yet I really envy your gorgeous hair! Speaking as someone who always had extremely straight hair whatever I did with it. For a birthday treat each year my mum would spend hours tying my hair in rags so it would be curly/wavy for half a day before it dropped out or merely looked as though it needed a good brush! I remember later at senior school being fascinated in assembly by the perfectly smooth blonde pony tail of a girl in front, which always flicked back into place. How does it do that?
Then at uni, there was a girl who looked very like me, who had long dark curly hair. Every night before we went out I would be tonging my hair into curls and she would be there with the straighteners, trying to smooth hers down. We always want what we don't have. But for you, it symbolises so much more and you and your gorgeous family have such beautiful curls. And the photo of your lovely girl - so precious xx
And now I've been instantly transported to that time I got a perm in high school! Always longing to fit in, feeling like I was forever on the outside looking in. So resonate with your words! Love Rachel's book, and Sue's words are always such an encouragement to me.
Jen,
Loved this. I was the Swedish girl with the straight hair who longed to have curls and endured those smelly perms several times. Or I slept in those pin curlers, so that I could have those beautiful curls I longed for! LOL. So funny how we all long for what we don't have. The longing to fit in I totally get. I was born with a cleft palate, cleft lip and deviated septum. Though much of it has been "fixed," my face will never quite be symmetrical. I have to position my face just right for photographs. I am so glad I did not grow up in the Instagram age. As always, thank you for the memories you shared!
Humbled and honored to read this. Your story is beautiful. Here's to all of us coming into our own. Speaking of hair, my friend Tasha just wrote a piece on (in)courage that swept me off my feet. It's called "Grief, Gratitude, and Gray Hair" and I'm thinking it'll resonate with you, too. Hope you enjoy it and find (some more) solidarity in this : )
https://incourage.me/2023/03/grief-gratitude-and-gray-hair.html
This is beautiful, and so are YOU.
Jenni, I am so glad you posted this. First of all it a beautifully written piece about self-acceptance. The history of hair written by a curly girl is one most of us curly girls can relate to because we went through so many of the same longings to have what we never could achieve when it came to hair styles. And though the experimentation with techniques meant to leave our hair smooth and sleek may have varied in our own attempts, that too is something I think every curly girl tries. Isn’t funny how when the hair dresser blows out the hair and the hair looks how we always wanted it to look we then feel less like who we really are?
But these lines, broke may heart, "struggling with the brown Kirby grips that pinched her scalp and just got lost in her hair when all she wanted to do was stop her curls sticking out.
To stop herself sticking out.” I do want to give that girl a hug.
Thanks for publishing this. I truly loved it!